"Of course..."

This week I had a meeting with a client for whom I will be delivering a keynote speech later in the year.

We talked about the aim of the conference, the content, the message, the running order, and how together we could deliver the best experience for the delegates.

This is usually how a client-speaker meeting happens; nothing out of the ordinary so far.

Then came the question, “Do you need childcare for your children on the day?”

I stared blankly at her with my mouth open.

I actually reached out and touched her arm, I was so moved by the question.

“I have been speaking for many years, and I have never been asked that question”, I said.

“Of course!” she said. “You’re a mum; you have caring responsibilities.”

I wish I had not been so surprised. I wish it was the norm.

The reason I was so moved was because it felt like I had just glimpsed another world.

If working women were asked “Do you need childcare for your children?” as a matter of course, we would live in a very different society.

We would have all of our many roles acknowledged.

Of course, I know not all women are mothers, or want to be, but for many women, during much of our lives, we will be caring for someone.

On the morning before the meeting, I was listening to a radio interview (proud Radio National fan) called ‘the motherload of motherhood’.

What stuck out for me was a comment made by social researcher Rebecca Huntley: “Many women experience that at work they have to pretend they are not mothers and at home they have to pretend they don’t work; and even if a mother has help from a partner with the domestic tasks around the home, she still carries all of the mental load.”

Although I had already openly spoken about my children in the meeting, it was this question that made me feel seen, that my role as working woman and mother were equally acknowledged and honoured.

My children are older now (12 and 14) so ‘childcare’ takes on a whole new angle, but if they were younger, I think I would start asking, “Are you able to supply childcare?”

What a rebellious act this would be. Even writing it feels rebellious.

I say ‘think’, because what immediately comes to mind is that they would choose the speaker who did not require childcare.

Too difficult to organise.
Too expensive.
Too hard.

The reality is that for many working mothers, it is too difficult, it is too expensive (financially, emotionally and mentally), and it is so hard.

I anticipate the day when the answer to “Are you able to supply childcare?” is always,

“Of course.”

I wish for you a weekend of asking. xxx

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Previous Client testimonials:

“I heard Kemi speak at a work conference.  Immediately I was drawn to Kemi. I loved her attitude towards life, it seemed so much clearer than my own.  I was in a massive rut, unhappy and overly stressed in all areas of my life.
I wanted more for myself both professionally and personally but always felt blocked in obtaining them, and if I did get them there was an overpowering feeling of guilt.   I was dealing with a job I felt was going nowhere and a personal life filled with extreme pressure, stress and responsibility and heartache.  And I was ready for Kemi to come into my life. My sessions with Kemi allowed me to be honest and completely uncensored.  The ACTIONS to keep me accountable and guilt-free THE BEST THING EVER!! Kemi is the most motivating woman I have ever met, courageous, strong, vulnerable, patient, insightful, inspiring and above all empowering. Without Kemi I wouldn’t have heard my dad say “I love you” the way I needed to hear it and for this alone I am forever grateful.  For this alone Kemi brought me peace x”  – Cindy

“When I first decided to try life coaching with Kemi I had made some major changes to my life. I had sold my house, quit my job and had no direction on where I was headed. The journey I took with Kemi over the following 6 months helped me gain focus in all areas of my life and really made me realise what was important to me.  My major achievement was learning to love myself which in turn has made me love the people and places around me.  What a great experience and Kemi gives you a wonderfully safe and calm environment to make a life-changing journey of self-nourishment and discovery. I can’t thank her enough.” – Melita