I have no idea what I'm doing.

Jun 11, 2021
Kemi Nekvapil holding a book

If you have been following my Instagram stories this week, you will know that the flower farming dream at the farm has begun.

This week, with the help of the professional gardening team, Kasey and Bronte, we dug twenty rose holes for the twenty David Austin roses that will be arriving in a few weeks.

We also dug twelve holes in a circular garden bed we created, which will become the peony patch.

As Kasey and Bronte pulled away in their ute, I had two simultaneous thoughts “Wow, this dream is coming alive!” and “I have no idea what I am doing!”

It is the second thought I want to focus on today, because I know this is where many people give up on their dreams.

For some reason, we have been led to believe that we need to know how to do something before we start. The tragedy of this is that most people don’t start at all. They never feel they have enough or know enough to begin, and the impact of this is that they never experience the profound joy of creating something from nothing.

I was not a dreamer as a child; I was very focused on my current reality. There was not much space for dreaming, so I take my dreams, my family’s dreams, my friend’s dreams, and my client’s dreams seriously.

Yes, there are ‘dream stealers’ out there, usually, family members, because they want us to be safe. Or other well-meaning folks who have tried and failed and don’t want us to experience the crushing feeling that can come with failure.

This is all I know about my aspirations as a flower farmer right now:

•   When I first heard of flower farming 3-4 years ago, I knew I wanted to be one.

•   I want to grow beauty and share that beauty with others.

•   I want to use sustainable and earth-friendly practices.

•   I want there to be a social enterprise arm at some stage.

•   If I decide I don’t want to do it anymore, I won’t do it anymore.

For me the success is not in succeeding; the success is giving it a real good go in the first place.

The roses and peonies have been chosen because they will not give off enough blooms to do much with for 2-3 years, and as the farm is not yet our primary home, this seems like the best starting place. I will also be planting twelve hellebores in the next day or so, they do not need much direct care either, and the mass planting of hydrangeas will go in this spring.

The annual flowers, such as anemones, tulips, daffodils, are all being grown in our Brunswick home to decide what I like and what I want to plant on a larger scale in the coming years.

My screen time is all flower-based YouTube videos. I am so inspired by people’s passion and joy for growing flowers. My inspirations are diverse; an elderly Dutchman who has been growing flowers for over 40 years, young men and women in America and England who have such different personalities and backgrounds, Australian flower farmers, who are all doing it in their own way, depending on where their farms are situated in this diverse Aussie landscape.

None of these farmers had or still don’t have much idea about what they are doing. They are making it all up as they go along. Things die, they grow too many flowers and can’t keep up, they overbuy on seedlings, and they can’t keep up the watering, and they all die. And of course, the weather and all of its surprises.

There is success and failure in any endeavour, and we learn from both; but to do so, we must begin.

I know too many people who will never start, and I want you to have the same thought as I did on Monday. “Wow, this dream is coming alive!” and “I have no idea what I am doing!”

Whatever it is for you, allow yourself to begin. Please begin. It will fill you up in ways you will never know unless you begin.

Wishing you a weekend of having no idea what you are doing and enjoying it anyway.


Kemi xxx

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