Busy or full?

Nov 11, 2022

In a recent coaching session, a client and I explored what it means to be busy.

She could admit to herself that ‘busy’ had always been a badge of honour for her. She would always tell people, “I’m SO busy.” To her, it meant she was successful in the outer world.

When I asked her what was happening in her inner world, she said, “Nothing. I felt empty.”

I cannot tell you how often people say to me, ‘You must be very busy.” Not as a question but as a statement.

I could let it slide; it may only be a turn of phrase, but that would be to let the myth continue. The myth is that being busy is a measure of… I’m not sure what, to be honest.

Success? Fulfilment?

I am an anti-busy advocate. I don’t do busy. And I don’t do busy because two of my core values are well-being and connection.

I do not feel like a ‘well-being’ if my calendar is so packed that I can’t breathe.

I do not feel connected to myself or others if I am racing around and am not grounded within myself and where I am.

I am excited to announce that I am in the early stages of recording an Audible Original podcast, where I will have the honour of coaching some of Australia’s ‘unapologetic’ women.

This means I have some full weeks for the rest of November. I will be up and down from Sydney for recording sessions and my usual coaching, and some very exciting speaking engagements. I say full on purpose because there is a vast difference between being busy and being full.

My thoughts below are not set in stone, but busy and full are very different to me. I would love to hear what your interpretations are of the below list

Busy – At the mercy of circumstances

Full – I have chosen these circumstances

Busy – Disconnected from self and others.

Full – Prioritising connection to self and others

Busy – Unintentional or unconscious actions

Full – Intentional and conscious actions

Busy – Feeling unfulfilled at the end of the day/week/month/year

Full – Feeling fulfilled at the end of the day/week/month/year

So as I embark on 3-weeks of doing work I am deeply passionate about (I am fully aware this is a privilege), I have chosen this fullness for a short period of time. And it is even more vital for me to stick to the rituals and routines I know work. The ones that keep me connected, present and energised.

Too often, when life becomes full (or busy), we drop the habits and rituals that create the foundation to allow us to show up and contribute, whether professionally or in our personal lives.

By the end of the coaching session with my client, she created a practice where before she said yes to anything, she would ask herself, “Is this a yes for the outer world or a yes for my inner world?” She also decided to practice not saying, “I am SO busy.”

As we approach the end of the year, what ‘busy’ work can you let go of?  What does fulfilling work feel like to you?

You may be in a position where you don’t get to choose the work you do, and if this is the case, I invite you to explore fulfilment in other ways.

As I say in my book ‘POWER’ – “The world does not need busy women; it needs present and powerful women.”

We all have times in our lives when things are (insert your word), and that is the time to be very clear on what you need so that busyness does not disconnect you from the things that matter most.

As always, I would love to hear your insights, thoughts or musings.

Wishing you a weekend of fulfilment.

Kemi xxx

PS: If you want to follow along with my Audible adventure, check out the highlights section on my Instagram.


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