3 Questions – June

Tomorrow I am going overseas on a self-made writing retreat. I’ll immerse myself in my favourite introvert treats—yoga, writing and solo lunches, and one-on-one catch-ups with known friends and new friends.

I stay in the same simple room and live in a triangle. My room, the yoga studio, the café of my dreams. What more do I need?

Many years ago, I really wanted to attend a writing retreat. I had an unspoken expectation that either I would have to be invited to participate in a retreat or pay a lot of money to attend one.

At that time, I loved the idea of writing in Italy, but I didn’t feel like a real writer; this was before I self-published my first book, Raw Beauty, and it was in the early days of my business, so I could not invest in such an experience.

It was probably about three years ago when I realised that I didn’t need to wait to be invited to attend a writing retreat, and I didn’t need to pay more than I could afford to attend one either because I could invite myself to my own writing retreat.

Which is precisely what is happening for the next two weeks.

Some of the best things about my writing retreat is that I get to decide when to sit and chat with people, wake up whenever I want, and eat whenever and whatever I want.

In life, there are things we are called to experience, and we have a sense that we have to wait for it to be created for us or that we need to be invited when in fact, we may be able to create a version of what we want for ourselves.

When I was home with my children, I committed to growing as much of our food as possible. We only had a small patio and no garden beds. So I would plant one broccoli per pot for several years; I did not wait for the garden. When we bought a home with a garden, I had even more knowledge about gardening than if I had never grown broccoli in pots.

Just this week, I was working with a client on her next career move, and we discussed her ideal day in her new job. Once she had excitedly told me what she wanted, she said, “I can do some of this now, in my current role. I don’t have to wait for ‘perfect’ conditions.”

Is there such a thing as perfect conditions? I’m not sure there is, and waiting for these conditions may ensure that what we want is a long time coming or that what we want never happens.

You may want to go on a week-long hike with friends, but what is possible right now is a half-day hike with friends.

This month's three questions explore giving yourself some version of what you want now.

1. What one tangible thing do you want for yourself?

2. Are you waiting to be invited or granted permission to do what you want?

3. If you were to create a version of what you want now, what can you start with the resources you have now?

Success does not have to look like the finished outcome; success can be about starting from where you are.

Wishing you a weekend of giving yourself a little of what you want – without apology.

PS: I will be back in your inbox on July 14.

Kemi xxx