My daughter turned thirteen this week. My foster parents who have been over from the UK leave this week. My son is away on camp. My husband has been advocating in a deeply distressing human rights case. And we have all had a cold.
I have found myself emotionally fragile navigating all of these competing aspects of life. There have been various family upsets along the way which led me to think that I may do a solo endurance run to Hawaii and stay there for a while!
A few of my clients are also feeling that it is all a little too much, as are a few close friends.
So, what can we do in these times, in these times when it is all feels a little too much and it could feel a little too much for a while?
What can we do when we feel our personal power is waning?
Extreme. Self. Care.
I have a high level of self-care most of the time, but I was reminded this week of the need for extreme self-care in the times that we feel we may be swallowed whole.
So, this week I have been asking myself the question “What does ESC look like right now?”
I allowed this question to govern and guide my actions until I felt I could ‘find myself’ through it all.
I had a client who had to postpone a coaching session, and so I decided to go and lift some weights, because there is nothing like lifting heavy to gain some personal power.
Instead of doing emails, I planted garlic in the garden, because there is nothing like communing with nature and growing your own food.
I sat in the garden and listened to the podcast I only really listen to at the weekends, because storytelling has nourished our souls since the dawn of time.
I bought my favourite takeaway lunch, because, well it’s food!
I bought a ridiculously expensive green juice, even though I had everything in the fridge to make it at home, because I needed someone else to do it for me.
I had a nap, because sleep makes everything better.
I reorganised some cupboards, because organising external clutter creates room for internal de-cluttering.
I did some crafting, because there is a joy that comes in the space of creation.
I just kept going with these big and little things until I felt I returned back to myself.
And somewhere in the middle of all those things, somewhere in there, I came back.
When we feel fragile because the magnitude of life feels too heavy, sometimes the only thing we can do is focus on Extreme. Self. Care. Looking after ourselves is a large aspect of building our personal power. And when we are able to access our internal strength, it will see us through the deeply challenging and confronting times life throws at us.
Trust your needs. Do not judge them. Allow them. Act on them. You may just find yourself again.
Wishing you a weekend of saying yes to yourself. xxx
‘I started coaching with the hope that I could change some negative patterns in friendships and relationships. Through coaching, I was able to take responsibility for my role in unhealthy relationships and to start shifting negative dynamics. It’s not easy to admit you are responsible for your own pain, but Kemi’s insightful questions, non-judgement and gentle challenges are undoubtedly what has given me an understanding of the power I have to create positive relationships. A thousand thank yous!’ – Jane Hawtin
“Working with Kemi is like nothing else. It’s now the second time I’ve asked for Kemi’s coaching support and just like the first time, these 6-months have been a game changer in my life. Both times I turned to her in moments where I felt somewhat lost about the direction of my business or the way to implement my projects; I was unsure about my relationships & struggled to find balance in my life.
What I find most valuable is that there is no limit to what can be tackled through this process: work, relationships of all nature, health & nutrition, self-development, stories from the past that need healing…. You may not end up focusing on the areas of your life that made you reach out for guidance in the first place and that’s the magic of it!
When I am asked why working with Kemi works so well for me this is what I usually say: “She challenges me with care.”
Her coaching is truth-revealing, supportive, constructive, insightful, empowering & sometimes scary in the best of ways. There’s nothing I feel I cannot do after a session with her!
I already know I’ll work with Kemi again – simply because the process never ends & I’ve learnt that asking for support is the best gift I can give myself.” – Anne Laure Eberhardt