I think we all want to believe that we are responsible.
Most of us have responsibilities, but that is very different from being responsible.
I do not want to insult you by telling you something that you already know, but the truth is, we are responsible for our responses to our life.
We are responsible for how we react in any given circumstance, especially when we do not like the circumstance.
Every single one of us is emotionally wounded, and every single one of us has emotionally wounded another in some way. Sometimes the wounds given were deliberate, sometimes they weren’t.
Sometimes the wounds we inflict were played out in our minds perfectly scripted to make sure the hurt would be felt, and sometimes by just being who we are, we wound.
Are you responsible for your wounds and your wounding?
I recently read a quote that made me inhale: “You probably were not responsible for your wounding, but you are responsible for your healing.”
When we stop blaming others for what has happened to us, we can focus on what needs to happen now for us to heal.
We can ask questions.
What do I need to do now?
How can I begin to heal this now?
Last week, I had the joy and privilege of leading the full Dare to Lead™ program to a generous and courageous group of leaders.
Brenè Brown says in one of the videos that are part of the program I delivered, that one of the reasons she has taken the time to work out her hurt, is so that she does not inflict that hurt on others.
Taking responsibility is not an easy path. It will be painful and confusing if we are willing to go deep enough. I write this as someone who is continuously in the ‘work of self’, so that I can be of service to others to do the same work.
I am no master, I am doing my best. But what I do know is that taking responsibility brings me a form of freedom.
And I want to be free.