Later today, I will be delivering a presentation on the topic of boundary setting, and I wanted to share some of the content with you.
A recent study in the US by the family and work institute reported that 75% of working parents feel they do not have enough time with their children (or each other), and if you are not a parent, swap out the children for friends, hobbies, well-being and leisure time.
I know we are not in the US, but I think many Australians experience the same dilemma.
“How do I manage everything that is important to me?”
For some people knowing what is important to them is not the hardest part, nor is a lack of knowledge of what the boundaries need to be; it is the fear of not being liked, of disappointing others, of appearing selfish.
We may feel that boundaries make us unlikeable, but the truth is they make us more attractive to others. They also make us more attractive to ourselves.
We may feel that putting boundaries in place makes us appear uncaring, but the truth is they allow us to care more.
In my personal experience, and from the experience of clients in my coaching practice, I know that when we are clear on our priorities, then we are diligent with our boundaries.
Individually we all need to set boundaries for our physical, emotional and mental well-being. If we don’t, overwhelm, exhaustion, disconnection, frustration, resentment and other negative feelings start to appear more and more frequently; and if we allow these negative feelings to consume us, we start to lose parts of ourselves, ever so slowly, but ever so surely.
Here is a guide to creating boundaries;
- Prioritize what is important to you – take the time, explore
- Protect what is important to you – put boundaries in place
- Communicate what is important to you – do not assume people know
- Ask for what you need – our boundaries usually need support from others
- Be responsible– it’s your life
As I say to my children most things worth having take practice and setting boundaries is no different.
Setting boundaries is a definitive way of saying, I care about me as much as I care about you.
Wear your dignity on your sleeve. You will be rewarded well.
I currently have space for two more coaching clients. If you would like support in setting boundaries, prioritizing what is important to you, maybe it is time for you to book in a discovery session.
This is a 45-minute coaching call, where you share with me a current goal or challenge, and we create a pathway for action, which is yours to run with as you wish.
This is a genuine opportunity for you to experience my coaching method and decide whether it suits you.
All you need to do is email me firstname.lastname@example.org and I will be in contact.
“Being stagnant in life is debilitating. Being stagnant when you have a husband and a young family to consider more so. I felt like I was failing at life with no end in sight. After many failed attempts at moving forward on my own, I engaged a life coach.
I had no idea what that even really meant but I was so desperate to start living again I felt I had to try something! I engaged Kemi as my life coach for so many reasons but I would have to say the main reason being is her holistic approach. No stone is left unturned to get you moving. She considers every aspect of your being! She is ridiculously caring and witty. Her coaching style is empowering and effective. She holds space for you and genuinely cares.
She has got me moving again and has given me so many tools that stagnation is no longer an option. I am happily thriving and living a joyful passionate life! She is a coach to be reckoned with, a passionate powerhouse who will get the job done.
Thankyou Kemi, forever grateful for you.” – Desie Borzillo
“I was in serious need of clarity and perspective not only in my business and career, but personal life too. My flight response was in overdrive and I was determined to navigate the next season in my life with as much grace and integrity as possible. Kemi was able to steer me through this incredibly challenging time with clear, concise and compassionate coaching. She asked all the right questions, gave me space and pushed me when I needed to be pushed; all of which enabled me to make the big decisions, kick goals and release me into the next season of my life with confidence, clarity and strength. Even those times I thought I didn’t really need the ‘next session’, it turned out I did and I am grateful for the accountability that Kemi held me to. I cannot more highly recommend Kemi as a coach. Thank you Kemi x” – Amy Heague
Wishing you a weekend of what is important to you. xxx